God has answered our prayers. Whenever I hear this said, it is usually when someone has prayed for something specifically and God has graciously answered according to how the prayer was voiced. However, if God doesn’t answer according to our prayers, He has still answered our prayers. No, it may not be how we want it to be answered, but God’s sovereign plan reigns over our desires. Sometimes it may be that what we pray for isn’t exactly in line with God’s will. Remember, “No,” and “Not now” are answers to prayer too. What should we say? We should rather say, “God has been gracious to give us the desires of our hearts.”
It was God’s will. I’ve heard this said multiple times in the house of mourning (funeral home). What’s astonishing is that I’ve heard it said when someone has lost a loved one in a tragic fashion (i.e., murder, car wreck). Well, friend, you don’t know that it was God’s will. Evil as well as nature (e.g., laws of physics) happens, and it speaks to the depravity (not the Calvinistic sort) of the earth and humanity. God doesn’t will evil, but evil exists because man has free will. If anything, it was man’s will and not God’s that caused whatever to happen. Stop using this phrase as a “crutch” because you don’t have the answers. We’re not meant to understand some things (cf. Deut. 29.29).
We’re all just sinners. Maybe you are, but most of us try not to make a practice of sin. Lawyers practice law, and doctors practice medicine. Ergo, a sinner would be one who practices sin. The Bible doesn’t view Christians as sinners. This isn’t to say that we don’t sin, but it is to say that we’re not the equivalent of those who are without Christ. The Bible calls Christians “saints” on several occasions (Rom. 1.7; 1 Cor. 1.2; 1 Peter 2.9, 10; et. al.): “And ‘If the righteous is scarcely saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?’” (1 Peter 4.18). In that passage, Christians are regarded as “righteous” while those unsaved are the ones who are “ungodly” and “sinners.”
Thank God for unanswered prayers. There’s no such thing. ”No,” is an answer. Refer to the first phrase.
I’ll be praying for you. When have we ever read this? No one ever said it in the Bible, they just did it!
God won’t give you more than you can handle. This is a distortion of 1 Corinthians 10.13 which reads, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” He’s speaking of “temptations” and not “trials.” God does give us more than we can handle, and in those moments we are to turn to Him for strength. Ever read Job?
Amended 8/23/12 at 6:00 p.m.
Some have misunderstood my intentions on the “I’ll be praying for you” statement. Let me clarify that I am not seeking to discourage good intentions and expressions of love towards others. I’m not discouraging, but encouraging action rather than mere words. Furthermore, the final statement is within the context of sin and not trying times or personal struggling.
Sharing this. Thank you for the explainations. We all need to be cautious in our speech.
Thanks for this. One I’ve found hurtful in the past couple of weeks is “God healed (insert name) because He knew she still had work to do. She’s too valuable for His kingdom.” What about those of us who haven’t been healed? When you’re in the throes of serious, life threatening illness, and others toss these phrases around, clearly grateful to God for good reason, you wonder why the groanings of YOUR heart are ignored. We must be careful not to cause others more pain. Thanks for pointing these things out.
Laura, we often times have good intentions by our words, but what’s important to remember — as you’ve pointed out — is how those words could come across. Sometimes our greatest mistake is the mistake of thinking we must speak when we merely need to hug and affirm our affections for another. God bless, SH.
The New Testament mentions keeping others in prayer many times….Philemon 1:4, James 5:15, 2 Timothy 1:3, ! Thes 1:2, Col. 4:12 Philip. 1:4 Eph 1:6. In Romans 15:30 Paul requests prayers. Why would it be wrong to let someone know that you are praying for them, Paul often let others know they were the subjects of his prayers. I think you are off on this point; but I agree that we should be diligent in our speech and if we say we are praying for someone then we should have already done it.
Hello, Phyllis. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Those to whom Paul wrote he expressed that he had prayed for them because they were separated by distance and voice. We — on the other hand — are typically on the phone with or in the presence of others when we voice this phrase. Why couldn’t we pause and have a prayer with then in person or via phone? Also, the passage you cited from James must be kept in its context. James 5.14 says “pray over them” (ESV) which indicates in their presence and with them. It isn’t wrong to inform someone you will be praying for them, but why not just pray with them? What often happens is that we say that, leave, and forget. As a minister, I prefer to pause and pray immediately barring any excuses. I wrote a card today to someone letting them know that they’ve been in my prayers. The whole point of the post is that these phrases are not in the Bible. Paul wrote that he had kept those brethren in prayers.
God bless, SH
I don’t agree that the second to the last phrase, “I’ll be praying for you”, should never be said. Sometimes people really do need to know that someone is thinking about them, and hoping for them, and praying for them. It is comforting to know that someone cares. As long as the person using this phrase is being absolutely sincere, and not just trying to look good, I see nothing wrong with saying it to someone every now and then, if they need to hear it.
Other than that, this is a great list that I enjoyed. I’d never thought about some of these things in the way you’ve explained!
Hi, Emily. The title of the post more or less indicates that these phrases are not in the Bible. Instead of saying that we will pray for someone, I think we should rather just pause and do it. Put our arm around them, hug them, and pray with them. A demonstration instead of voicing the intent means more to people than saying we will and forgetting — which I have done.
well I think when someone writes on Facebook or any other site of a need and i am praying i kinda need to tell them that i am since i am not in person to do so, I have said just the phrase “praying”. I think it is by certain situations that you can say i’ll pray for you. just my thought!
Thanks, Michelle for your comments. I would rather either tell someone that I have prayed for them or to pray with them rather than tell them that I’ll pray for them (future tense). That’s my personal preference. However, I do like to let people know that I have been doing so and I also solicit their prayers too. God bless, SH.
I’ll add….
“God gave us a brain to use” from other Christians when they don’t agree with someone’s interpretation of the bible or as a replacement to trusting in God when you don’t know the answer.
“God helps those who help themselves”- God helps us most times despite ourselves
“I don’t want to use up God’s grace” or “I don’t want to depend on God having to forgive me”- not possible
“God wants me to be happy”- He wants you to be Holy
Thank you for posting this!
I’m not sure I agree with the idea that righteousness in Christ is automatic. Are we not guilty of Original sin? Are we not all guilty under the Law? Have we not “all sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God?” Yes, we have received redemption through Christ’s sacrifice, and God’s grace serves as atonement but we cannot forget that we must daily die to our old Adam. Paul referred to himself as “chief of sinners though I be…” yet a huge amount of our doctrine is derived from his letters. Saint and sinner is an apt description for we cannot discount the sinful nature we were born into, otherwise our faith in Jesus as Redeemer is moot.
Guy, I don’t personally believe in “original sin” because that is an Augustinian doctrine which was fully developed by him. Cyprian was the one who accelerated pedo-baptism, but Augustine justified the practice by his explanation of original sin (cf. Ezek. 18.20ff).
When you read what Paul wrote in the next verse after his “chief sinner” comment (1 Tim. 1.16), he spoke retroactively believing that his actions against the church branded him foremost among all sinners. I would agree that saint and sinner is a correct description, but the mindset associated with believing we’re sinners can at times negate that Jesus has made us righteous through his atoning works. God bless, SH.
I hear “God won’t give us more than we can handle” used improperly too. Corinithians was written to the church, so this guarantee of God’s help is made directly to baptized believers. So often God’s intervention through mercy and longsuffering after disobedience is confused with God’s way of escape through obedience. No person can endure any adversity (as the word temptation is defined in the greek) without God because only God has a way of escape. It is always too much to handle without God, but he provides endurance through obedience. For instance, what could Job have endured without needing God’s help? And what did God want Job to endure without seeking God’s help? I think this shows that we will always have adversities common to man and therefore will always need God.
Great article and I appreciate the time and thought put into your list. I would also agree that it is much better to say that “I did” pray for someone than “I will” (later on). One I hear so often that people should stop using is “nobody is perfect”
About the “I’ll pray for you” thing, let’s be careful with calling that an “unscriptural phrase.” It’s almost like you’re indicating that someone would be wrong, or even in sin to say that for someone. Please consider these verses.
Col 4:12 Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ, saluteth you; who always strives earnestly for you in his prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God:
Paul said that Epaphras always strives for them in his prayers, something that would continue to happen. Does that mean we can tell people that others will be praying for them as long as we don’t tell them that we are praying for them?
Col 1:9 For this cause we also, from the day that we heard it, cease not to pray for you, and to request that ye may be filled with the knowledge of his will, in all wisdom and spiritual understanding:
Paul here is saying that he has been praying for them in this cause and that he isn’t going to stop. Well what’s that mean? It means he’s telling them that he will be praying for them.
2Th 1:11 It is with this view also that we continually pray to our God for you, asking that He will count you worthy of His call, and by His mighty power fully gratify your every desire for what is truly good and make your work of faith complete;
Paul here is again saying they continually pray for them to God, that is something that is currently happening and will continue to happen, correct?
2Co 9:13-14 By their approval of this service, they will glorify God because of your submission flowing from your confession of the gospel of Christ, and the generosity of your contribution for them and for all others, while they long for you and pray for you, because of the surpassing grace of God upon you.
Paul is telling them something that will be happening. Prayers for those reading the letter in Corinth.
I understand the point you’re trying to make, in that it would be good to just do it there, and certainly that is true. Why not just do it there. Does that mean that it is the only place we can pray for them? In their presence? Of course not, so would say it’s wrong to pray with them and then say, “I’ll be praying for you” giving indication that you will keep praying for them even without them right there? I should hope not.
I certainly understand the frustration with prayers not being perfect, or statements like these, but let’s be careful when we start to name things as “unscriptural” given the implication that comes along with them. And let’s be careful that we don’t get caught on our personal preference that start pushing people away from encouraging others. It might not be the BEST phrasing, but it would be hard to call it unscriptural.
You stated that you understood what I sought to relay, so I’ll not comment too much further except to say that out of those commenting about the “praying for you,” most have realized (via Facebook more so than in the comments section) that my intent was a call to action rather than empty words that someone feels they must say in a moment only to neglect their follow-through. God bless, SH.
The point is though, that it is not an unscriptural phrase. Within the New Testament, there ARE instances of people saying they are and will be praying for other people. Unscriptural usually implies that it is something unbiblical and something that is wrong to do. Based on the verses I posted, and I’m sure others, and just basic principle alone, “I will be praying for you” is not unscriptural. It might be abused and misused, but it is certainly not “unscriptural.” I understand from your comments here before I ever posted that you were talking about being active, not just saying it, but calling a phrase unscriptural doesn’t mean that the misuse of it is wrong, but that the phrase itself is inherently wrong to use, and that just isn’t the case with the phrase, “I’ll be praying for you,” or the one I mentioned in my other comment from I Cor 10:13.
Let me clarify: in principle, no, it isn’t wrong. I am not using the term “unscriptural” to indicate falsehood. For instance, in principle it is not wrong to ask God to bless food for our nourishment, but the nourishment is contained in the food and that sort of a prayer simply isn’t founded upon an informed grasp of scripture. If we get technical, those statements that indicate continual prayer also indicate that prayer has been ongoing. I have made an amendment on the post seeking to clarify my intent. Thank you for contributing, SH.
I wanted to comment on the “God won’t give us more” part as well too. Is that phrase inherently unscriptural? Not at all. In fact, it’s exactly what I Corinthians 10:13 teaches, just not in the way most people use it. Many use it in a sense that implies that the more faithful we are, the more God will allow to happen to us. Certainly that isn’t right, but the context notes that regardless of the temptation, there is a way to escape it or to endure it faithfully. Keeping that in mind, God WON’T let anything come upon us that we cannot endure. Why? Because through His strength and our commitment to Him, we can certainly endure anything if we try. Again, something that is often misused, but the phrase in and of itself is not “unscriptural.”
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